We've all had grand plans for an awesome DIY project. Visions of beautifully refinished hardwood floors or gorgeous new crown molding are enough to spur you out the door and onto the nearest home improvement store. “No pros needed!” might be the slogan, but the project might be… ambitious.
At least, that's what you realize after an hour of working on a project that turns into a weekend or even a life commitment. Who thought this was a good idea in the first place? Well, at first they did.
You might be suffering from “mid-project regret syndrome,” or MPRS for short. MPRS is real, and it's experienced by many of us. If you're one of the 89% of would-be DIYers who lose motivation mid-project, there's a good chance you have an unfinished project (or more!) at home.
The good news: you're not alone. Even better news: you can prevent this and even deal with it when it happens. We asked some experts to help us overcome mid-project regret syndrome.
Kim Jones, Professional Organizer, Louisville, Kentucky Stephani Robson, Ph.D., Senior Lecturer Emeritus, Cornell University School of Hotel Administration
What causes mid-project regret syndrome?
So what actually happens when your energy runs out? “You have limited cognitive capacity,” says Stefani Robson, PhD, a senior lecturer at Cornell University's School of Hotel Administration who now consults on hospitality design projects. “If your job is stressful or your family is busy,[a DIY project]can be fun and immersive and help you get out of your shell and have a really good time.”
But sometimes, she says, she gets frustrated by unrealistic expectations. Take painting a room, for example. You read a lot of articles and they say, “I think I can pull this off at Home Depot in a weekend,” she says. “And then there's this self-satisfied woman standing there with a perfectly painted room who's never painted or said a foul word. As you can see, that's totally unrealistic.”
It took Robson three weeks to paint her tiny hallway. “And when we don't meet some external expectation,” she adds, “we tend to feel bad about ourselves.” So what do we do when we feel bad? Probably not.
How to avoid mid-project regret syndrome
Dr. Robson says the key is to have your eyes wide open before embarking on a project. For example, knowing you'll be replacing a light fixture isn't the whole story. What tools do you need? What do you need to do before you get to the fun part of buying the fixture? Without a plan, you could end up with lightbulbs hanging from the ceiling for weeks (raise hand).
Create a Vision Board
Kim Jones, a professional organizer in Louisville, Kentucky who also helps people move, including me, thrives on pre-planning and can't leave any projects undone. It's her job! Her advice? “Before starting any project, take the time to create a vision, get in the right mindset, and identify what motivates you. It's important to document this before you start the project so you can refer back to it quickly and get motivated again if you feel like quitting!”
Jones' secret weapon is, “It may seem silly, but I create a vision board before I start every project. Figure out exactly what I want the room to look like and add keywords for what it will feel like. It's good to have the big picture in mind, otherwise you're more likely to fail and not finish the project,” she says.
Check Yourself
The next step, Jones says, is to check your mindset. Be honest with yourself. It's easy to get caught up in imagining the finished result, but ask yourself, “Do I feel like I can take on this project, or is my schedule so packed that I can't possibly add another project?”
Plan a realistic timeline
Once you're mentally prepared, “look at your calendar and find a manageable time to tackle your project,” Jones says. “Perhaps a long weekend or a month when you have less work and activity than usual. Then mark the project on your calendar and get ready to go — this includes buying the supplies you'll need — and fully commit. This process will set you up for a successful project rather than starting on a Thursday night with the idea of stripping down the wallpaper and redoing the whole room.”
How to overcome mid-project regret syndrome
What if you've already started a project and you give up halfway through? Once you lose momentum and move on, “you start to get used to having that one lightbulb above your head, and you notice it every now and then and you think, 'I need to do something,' and then life goes on,” says Dr. Robson.
The psychological term is “habituation,” she explains, “and because it's not something that's going to get in the way of your daily life, it becomes less important to solve. It's funny, but I wanted to put shoe molding in my upstairs bedroom. I bought that shoe molding in 1999, and it's still in the basement.”
Bribing yourself
To get through it, Dr. Robson says, we may need to treat ourselves like we're still little kids at heart – essentially bribe ourselves. And being kind to ourselves is really important, she adds.
“Use small rewards to reward yourself” for specific steps along the way, she says. Most people respond better to rewards for small steps, rather than waiting for a bigger reward at the end for reaching the finish line, she says.
Others might respond to what she calls “extrinsic motivators,” like inviting the family over for dinner on the day they plan to finish. “Some people really need that nudge: 'Oh my gosh, my mom is coming,'” she says. But she warns against this approach, because “extrinsic motivators can be very resentful sometimes.” They might get it done, but it might be perfunctory, she says.
Listening to your needs
At the end of the day, give yourself what you need. “Projects, especially big ones, are exhausting, and there will be times when you just want to sit in the middle of nowhere and cry,” says Jones. “This situation can be avoided before you get to that point. You know your body and your mind better than anyone else, so listen to it. If you're feeling unmotivated and overwhelmed, take a break and rest. Go for a walk, do whatever it takes to get you back into a motivated state.”